Anxious Honesty

The voice in my head is telling me I’ve wasted two years on a dream that will never come true. I had a book idea and I ran with it. I didn’t fight hard enough for it though.

More and more, my husband seems to get mad that I’m not working on my book. That I’m not bringing in any money. That I’m just ‘lounging’ around the house.

It doesn’t matter that I clean the house top to bottom by myself. I weed the gardens and mow the lawn and whippersnip, by myself. I feed the cats and dogs day and night by myself. I do the laundry, by myself. I make the appointments for both of us. Keep a running list of things. Try to be the voice of reason more often than not. (I will admit he helps on occasion, but not near enough…)

I wish I was bringing in money. I wish I had fought harder for my book. It feels like the only choice is to abandon it entirely. It’s not what I want, but I always put everyone else ahead of me.

But then that leaves me with a blog and a twitter account that serve no real purpose anymore, right?

So, I’ve applied to part-time jobs in the mean time. I’ve started freelance transcribing again for Rev. I’ve created a Ko-Fi account in hopes of some additional help so that I can keep writing.

I want to keep writing, I really do, but this voice tells me there’s no point anymore. If I was really passionate about it, I’d be somewhere other than editing, right?

Anyways, that’s the end, (I think), of my self-pitying post. I had to say it before it ate me alive though I still think it might.

 

https://ko-fi.com/kemwriting is the link to donate to my creative path. I’m sure after a decent cry, I’ll be up to fighting again…

Very Short Stories, Week 10!

Late in the day, but my stories are here!

I’m sorry for the lack of blog posts on my part. I’m sorry for not reading others’ posts and commenting, too.

Time has run away from me, and I’m fighting to get it back under hand. Excuses have been its friend, leading me astray. I hope to turn a new leaf in the days to come (this time it should be a true promise).

I hope you enjoy my tales of the week and the prompts. Also, if you have tips on how to get back on track with a routine, I’m all ears!

 

June 18th

Galaxies away, a green marble similar to Earth spun around a star. Its waters hid beneath the ground, touched by colourful roots. Flowers and trees stretched in the light, and glowed like fireflies. They thrived. They made memories and guarded their #sentient home.

 

June 19th

Her feet stumbled across the cobblestone roads beneath dim street lights. A distant church bell chimed once in the night though she scarcely heard it. The lights flickered off in the #bistro she passed, and she banged on the windows. Bloody hand prints marred the glass.

 

June 20th

His #Embrace was to be held
By Love alone
To feel safe, secure
To feel passion’s touch.

His Embrace was the other half
Of a broken Heart
And it enveloped
But gave space
Like a practiced lover.

His Embrace was the truth
In its scolding form
And it was our life
Bound.

 

June 21st

Heat licked her brow and sweat formed, dripping down her face. The forge burned furiously in mid-July, warming her #iron to a glorious yellow. Tongs in hand, she wiped her face on her slick arm and pulled her piece from the heat.

Pressed to her anvil, she hammered away.

 

June 22nd

#Scars covered her body, caused by various things. Bug bites itched, cats and dogs that bit and scratched, burns, surgery.

Her fingers drifted across a faint yet raised area.

A scissors’ blade had left three lines, wielded by her own hand. But that was behind her.

 

June 23rd

The tempo pounded off the walls and set the #mood to dance. Bodies converged on the floor, writhing to an indistinct melody. Heels lay abandoned at the tables, bare feet emerged.

The music hit a fever pitch, strobe lights flashed viciously, and the bodies hit the floor.

 

June 24th

The #cosmic elements had aligned
in the lens of her telescope.
Black lace covered pale skin
A white candle in her hand.
Flames danced on the wick
under a scarlet sky.
Her feet padded the grass
and her spell teased the air.

Magick rushed to her touch
Willful and Eager.

Very Short Stories, Week 7

Hello! Another week of very short stories is up to read now! I think some of my favourites might just be in this collection, too.

New month means new individual in charge of the word prompts and they have been wonderful thus far. I’m looking forward to seeing the challenges to come and try and push myself further with my writing, too!

 

May 28th

The computer screens flashed on the moment she touched the mouse. Her lips turned upwards in a faint smile, and she clicked the folder where her manuscript hid. A white page covered in black swirls and lines greeted her eyes, and she knew she’d never #regret writing.

 

May 29th

The grass was soft against her hands, dampened by dew. Lips curled into a smile and the chill of the air sent goosebumps along her skin. Entranced by the #Orion, she fell away from the world and the freckled boy who saw the galaxy in her emerald gaze.

 

May 30th

The #patch stood out in the crowd since it covered a woman’s eye and hid a gruesome sight. But she had known it would.

On horseback, she moved through the men and kept her gaze straight ahead. Her face kept cold as stone, she shouted above them, “You follow my lead or you die.”

 

May 31st

Sleep shed itself from her mind and left a #reverie in its wake. Images danced beneath her eyelids, enticing her to remain coddled in bed.  Invincible in a land of her making, she found happiness in ignorance and kept the curtain drawn. Forsake the day for night has come.

 

June 1st

Stones were piled to the sides around the dig and wheelbarrows brought more in a hurry. The sound of metal biting into dirt filled the day while shouts gave further instructions.

This world beneath our feet is #ancient, he spoke to his daughter. And it needs our love.

 

June 2nd

Sweat ran down her face in drips and her heart beat in excruciating bursts. I can do this, she thought, determined to beat the #crucible before her. The gates opened, unleashing her into the labyrinth, and she surged forward. Knife in her grasp, she listened for threats.

 

June 3rd

The #willow tree stood tall in the meadow and wildflowers bowed to it in the breeze. Its branches swayed to nature’s tune whilst birds fluttered underneath its canopy. Tickled by the sun, the rustling of leaves became its laughter, and joy shimmered through the grasses.

Very Short Stories, Week 4

Really enjoying creating these every single day! I have noticed I tend towards certain themes and words though, and I’m trying to break free of it. Thus, if any of the following seem awkward I apologize and hope you managed to enjoy anyways!

Tips welcomed as always!

 

May 7th

Roots dug mines through the dirt, hunting for water. The soil itself was fragile, and its nutrients grew weaker with time. #Ephemeral flowers dotted the surface though, and their blooms brought visitors. The sound of bumble bees and birds lit the calm, sunny afternoon.

 

May 8th

The dogs kicked and snored, chasing rabbits in their dreams. She smiled at them, and looked to her side where her husband slept. She rolled over, resting a hand on his side, and placed a light kiss on his cheek. When his eyes opened, she whispered, “I #love you.”

 

May 9th

Dreams woke her from the soundest sleep. She choked back the scream building in her throat for what she had seen was a vision, a dark tale to be told. Blood boiled beneath flesh, scarring bone. At its #zenith, bodies wailed and vanished as dark wings unfurled into the sky.

 

May 10th

The ground was a cloud beneath her feet, soft, fluffy, and… dense. Floating above the world, she dared look down to admire the seas of forest and the spots of wild flowers. In seconds, the plants vanished, and concrete and asphalt claimed the world. Life was #surreal.

 

May 11th

M A narrow tunnel led to the underground facility, carved straight down at first before it twisted into a single level. Not one window allowed light in, and yet children grew in the #aphotic site. Plants reached for an invisible sky under tender care, thriving in the dark.

 

May 12th

Armed with a cloth, her hands wiped the surfaces of the home, removing the tiniest specks of dust and dirt. Her every step a soft bounce as she danced to the music blaring from her stereo. Beads of sweat formed on her brow, but the smile on her lips was #beatific.

 

May 13th

The #Azure gemstone graced the silver engagement ring like snow on a mountain peak. It belonged to it; both pieces of the same puzzle. Careful hands pulled it from its velvet shelter, and slid it on to a delicate finger. Smiles as bright as the sun graced their lips.

Blogger Recognition Award

Blogger.Recognition.Award

 

 

Today, I was nominated for the Blogger Recognition Award, and that blew me away! I couldn’t believe it, and it gives me a chance to thank some great followers.

Thank you, Charli Dee ( https://lifewithcharli.home.blog/ ) for nominating me! I really appreciate it, and love the support you’ve given me! Your blog has been awesome to follow with the different things you talk about, and I always look forward to your posts.

Now about the Blogger Recognition Award:

The Blogger Recognition Award is an online award given by bloggers to other bloggers. It is a way to recognize the work of other bloggers, and award them for the work they put into putting out blog posts. It is definitely hard work, so I’m very honored to be receiving this award!

Rules:

  1. Thank the nominator, and publish a post on your blog about receiving the Blogger Recognition Award. Make sure to provide a link to the nominator’s blog in your post.
  2. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  3. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  4. Nominate 10-15 other bloggers for this award, and inform them of their nomination.

How My Blog Started

Kem’s Journey started out as a way to motivate me to keep writing, and it has helped immensely in that regard. It doesn’t hurt that I am building a following, and this blog encouraged me to explore other social media platforms like Twitter (@KEMwriting). There are so many amazing people out there who ask great questions, provide informing answers, and offer support on bad days. My blog may have started out in one place, but it has taken me to others on the way!

While I keep working away on my book, I post my other attempts in the realm of writing. I have enjoyed writing and reading since I was a child, and I wish I had of kept at it instead of waiting to pick it back up! I now call myself a writer (regardless of not being published), and it is going to stay that way!

Advice to New Bloggers

I’m not sure I am really qualified to give advice in this regard as I’m pretty much winging it. I guess I’ll make an attempt.

  1. Take the time to read other people’s blogs and comment when you can. Some of these connections will be genuine and worth the world. Bloggers should support each other when able, and you’ll need it at the end of the day, too.
  2. Find your voice, your reason, your meaning, and talk about it! You’ll stray every now and then, and that’s fine! Just remember your blog is about you and your PASSION so embrace it, and talk about it!
  3. Make the time for your blog now, because you will regret it later if you don’t! I try and post something every day, but there are times when I don’t. You got to get back up, though, and write that post.

Nominees

  1. Weronika Donovan – https://painted-poems.blog/
  2. Buddhadosha – https://dkflosi.wordpress.com/
  3. Ilona Pulianauskaite – https://easydiet.blog/
  4. Cristian Mihai – https://cristianmihai.net/  and/or  https://artofblogging.net/
  5. Peter Edwards – https://littlefears.co.uk/
  6. Luna – https://lunatheblog.com/
  7. A Collective of Individuals – https://pointlessoverthinking.com/
  8. Elizabeth Ramadi – https://poetkisses.blog/
  9. CJ Porter – https://potheadtoprovidence.com/
  10. Frank Solanki – https://franksolanki.com/
  11. https://shortstoryscribe.wordpress.com/
  12. https://theintrospectivescribbleronline.wordpress.com/
  13. https://pmuink.com/
  14. https://dirtyscifibuddha.com/
  15. https://thematicallymeandering.com/

 

2019: My Year of Change

It is the start of a new year, and I felt I should share some things. Make myself accountable to myself and the eyes of others.

To start with, I shared my book with a few individuals, and I am waiting on one to finish the last twelve chapters before getting her notes. I have received very good feedback, and believe most of it will improve my book. They definitely will add more thrills to the story line, and chances to connect with the characters. *fingers crossed*

I have to say it is great to be writing on here everyday (almost), and working more on my manuscript. Also, picking up books, and actually reading the amount I used to has been great too. I hope to query more literary agents in 2019 while both writing and reading to grow myself and my ‘craft’. Over the past few weeks, I have accumulated a variety of works by different authors to challenge myself in that regard.

January is always an interesting month for me, I find. Not only is it the changing of the year and the beginning of new dawns, but it is also my birth month. I will be turning 27 in eighteen days, and I have struggled with my age for a few years now. Growing baby pressure (from family and myself), a need to move from the house my husband and I have outgrown, and the fact that I feel I am stepping backwards in life make it tough to think “age is just a number.”

However, I am GOING to change that thinking this year. Too often I let the voices of others outweigh my own, and it isn’t fair to me or to them. They don’t get to see who I truly am, and I torture myself to fit their molds. I may be loud, boisterous, and absolutely abnormal, but there is nothing wrong with that or me. I may be crude, overly honest, and share too much about myself (before I get to know you), but that is who I am. I am not going to be ashamed or apologize for it anymore.

This year, I am going to fight for a healthy me, in mind, spirit, and body. I am going to continue pursuing my dreams of being a writer, and make it happen. This is the time to put energy towards projects, and make them a reality! I have no one to blame, but myself if it doesn’t come true, after all.

I know plenty of people are posting this kind of ‘shit’, but it is a way to air out the old and grasp the new we want for ourselves. Rejoice in who you are now, and make the changes you need to to be happy. That is what we owe ourselves and those who spend time with us. Denying our truths not only denies others our true spirits, but an amazing freedom we all have the right to experience in our lives.

So, to be one of those people, here is the sum of my resolutions for 2019:

  1. Eat better and exercise to become a happier, less negativity person
  2. Read more (outside the box), and write more (outside the box)
  3. Keep trying to get representation for my manuscript (also look into self publishing)
  4. Keep active on my blog, and learn from those on here
  5. Craft more too!

I know resolutions can be cheesy, and many die before the end of January, but this year is gonna be my bitch! (To put it bluntly). There’s a fire in me, and I am fanning the flames, and keeping it burning!

I hope this year is everything you want/need it to be! Remember, treat yourself and others kindly!

Just write everyday of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers. ~ Ray Bradbury

 

P.S. I am going to be listening to High Hopes by Panic! at the Disco on my rougher days to keep myself inspired. Any songs you think would benefit me on low energy, depressing, or just tragic days, share them! I will also takes motivating/inspire/truthful quotes, too!