BraveWrite, Week 2

It’s Hump Day, people! The best and worst day of a work week.

I have felt entirely sapped of my energy and I am hoping I can turn it around today. Fingers crossed! I don’t need to sleep in and waste the day away doing nothing which is what yesterday taught me.

My mom came over and helped sand, clean, and put the first coat of Tremclad on our awful metal railings. They look better already after that. However, being productive didn’t quite get me out of this weird mood slump I’ve been in so here’s hoping today’s the day.

Anyways, I hope you are on your way to a wonderful weekend and may my BraveWrites help you out!

 

September 12th

She stared out the car window and watched the rain streak down it. Her mother talked at her, but she didn’t hear the words. Only emptiness.

But she was #encouraged by their want to help and surprised when they confessed their own visits to a psychiatrist. Maybe there was hope.

 

September 13th

She watches as her mother takes another drag. The cigarette’s blue-tinged smoke shimmers in the light and dissipates.

A silent, slow threat.

And she sheds another tear. Greying skin, ragged coughs, the crimson drops that spell the end. She waits for #cancer to claim her mom.

 

September 14th

Video game consoles litter the house, attached to various TVs. She turns on the xbox 360 and plays Assassin’s Creed. Her character scales rough pick, runs across clay tile, and lives.

She envies his freedom though she is the #gamer.

 

September 15th

Her brother pushed her under the water as part of the game. His hand was like steel on her head and she fought to surface. To suck in oxygen once more.

Panic had set in as time slowed. When he finally released her, she was ravenous for air.

Her #umbrage was now rage.

 

September 16th

The #vibration of the nail file on her toes unnerved her and served as a reminder. She was unwelcome here.

She was no pretty girl who wore make-up, fake nails, or got her hail done. She was a tomboy whose hands were filthy and rough.

But she stayed in the salon.

 

September 17th

She stood with her friends and their boyfriends in line, waiting to have her prom ticket checked. It was clutched in a white-knuckled fist as her anxiety took over. Her companions laughed and gasped as they entered the hall.

She suffocated internally on the #pizzazz.

 

September 18th

Her #alacrity had nothing to do with a fear of failure. It had everything to do with her need to prove them wrong. She was tired of the comparisons that ground her spirit into dust. She was tired of fearing whispers and taunting looks. She’d stand strong.

Hibernation

Coldness coiled tightly

Deeper than deep.

Shivering into vacant space

Lost on the edge

Wrapped in lies

Wrapped in truths.

What to do?

Warmth flees the body

Shards of ice

Poke, prod, tear.

Surrendering to it

This internal winter

Not an option.

The Soul’s a spirit

Willing to slip.

Can’t let it.

What to do?

Sleep

Sleep for now.

2019: My Year of Change

It is the start of a new year, and I felt I should share some things. Make myself accountable to myself and the eyes of others.

To start with, I shared my book with a few individuals, and I am waiting on one to finish the last twelve chapters before getting her notes. I have received very good feedback, and believe most of it will improve my book. They definitely will add more thrills to the story line, and chances to connect with the characters. *fingers crossed*

I have to say it is great to be writing on here everyday (almost), and working more on my manuscript. Also, picking up books, and actually reading the amount I used to has been great too. I hope to query more literary agents in 2019 while both writing and reading to grow myself and my ‘craft’. Over the past few weeks, I have accumulated a variety of works by different authors to challenge myself in that regard.

January is always an interesting month for me, I find. Not only is it the changing of the year and the beginning of new dawns, but it is also my birth month. I will be turning 27 in eighteen days, and I have struggled with my age for a few years now. Growing baby pressure (from family and myself), a need to move from the house my husband and I have outgrown, and the fact that I feel I am stepping backwards in life make it tough to think “age is just a number.”

However, I am GOING to change that thinking this year. Too often I let the voices of others outweigh my own, and it isn’t fair to me or to them. They don’t get to see who I truly am, and I torture myself to fit their molds. I may be loud, boisterous, and absolutely abnormal, but there is nothing wrong with that or me. I may be crude, overly honest, and share too much about myself (before I get to know you), but that is who I am. I am not going to be ashamed or apologize for it anymore.

This year, I am going to fight for a healthy me, in mind, spirit, and body. I am going to continue pursuing my dreams of being a writer, and make it happen. This is the time to put energy towards projects, and make them a reality! I have no one to blame, but myself if it doesn’t come true, after all.

I know plenty of people are posting this kind of ‘shit’, but it is a way to air out the old and grasp the new we want for ourselves. Rejoice in who you are now, and make the changes you need to to be happy. That is what we owe ourselves and those who spend time with us. Denying our truths not only denies others our true spirits, but an amazing freedom we all have the right to experience in our lives.

So, to be one of those people, here is the sum of my resolutions for 2019:

  1. Eat better and exercise to become a happier, less negativity person
  2. Read more (outside the box), and write more (outside the box)
  3. Keep trying to get representation for my manuscript (also look into self publishing)
  4. Keep active on my blog, and learn from those on here
  5. Craft more too!

I know resolutions can be cheesy, and many die before the end of January, but this year is gonna be my bitch! (To put it bluntly). There’s a fire in me, and I am fanning the flames, and keeping it burning!

I hope this year is everything you want/need it to be! Remember, treat yourself and others kindly!

Just write everyday of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers. ~ Ray Bradbury

 

P.S. I am going to be listening to High Hopes by Panic! at the Disco on my rougher days to keep myself inspired. Any songs you think would benefit me on low energy, depressing, or just tragic days, share them! I will also takes motivating/inspire/truthful quotes, too!