A Sad Face Pt. 2

I managed to finish off that face I started days (week?) ago, and I am… alright with the end result.

Sad.face.Finished.jpg

I added that second eye and eyebrow. Added a bit more definition, and voila! A piece I am keeping for learner’s sake only.

My art teachers in high school absolutely hated it when we smudged. It is messy, and where I made the most mistakes, too.

Smudging is essentially using the natural oils your hands secretes to blur or rub the pencil around. (It works best with the B series of pencils, I have found).

However it means the pencil grays your hand, and when you touch the piece, you must be careful. Otherwise, you end up with errors like the smudge in the hair, or on the neck. It is also difficult to erase. All of which I remember from high school art class, and chose to do anyway, because I got impatient.

May have to pick up some of those ‘Teach Yourself’ books to get a better grip on shading outside of smudging.

I do love smudging. It will always have its place, but I definitely need to get away from it.

Also need to practice proportions and placement. My eyebrows definitely don’t line up, and I am unsure if my eyes do, because of placement.

At least I tried, right?

P.S. I welcome ANY tips, or practical videos on the subject. As much as I try to overcome my perfectionist side of myself, it does win on occasion.

Wolves Do Shine

From yesterday comes the second bit of art mentioned: Silver Wolves. It is actually the first one I did out of the two, but I am more proud of it than the Butterflies (as meaningful as they are to me).

Out of the two, I thought it would be simpler, or truthfully, not as hard to mess up. I was afraid to screw up from the last time I had tried the engraving art kits. With that in mind, I got started on the Wolves, and kept going.

It was easy to keep at it since I was enjoying it so much. I started with the background where I knew I was safer to learn the tool’s movements, and the effects it could create.

Once I felt at ease with using the scraping tool, I started on the main figures of the piece; the Wolves.

My strokes were fearful and timid at first, still unsure. With time, I found my method, and used it to create the two Wolves to the best I could. I have to say, I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.

Metal.Wolves.jpg

I scratched my initials into the corner just for the heck of it since I didn’t design it, just scratched it on the pieces with the tool (all provided).

Now all I want are more of these kits to do. It was amazingly fun, and honestly, there are screw ups, but I don’t think they are the normal eye sore they could be. In fact, I feel they add depth either to the end product, or about the flaws all of us humans have.

Anyways, I absolutely adore canine life. It is so beautiful, and has so many faces to it. I love wolves and foxes the most, for different reasons. In fact, used to dream about owning one, but realized they are better enjoyed on their own turf.

P.S. Found SD cards, but they don’t fit my camera. Hoping to find some time in the next few days to find something for the memory slot.

Butterflies of Mine

Crafting and art in its various forms are all of interest to me. That is why sometimes I love and/or hate receiving art kits with instructions. However with the Engraving Art series I turned out to love it.

I bought one many, many, many moons ago, and absolutely butchered it. It was a golden lion, and I just could not figure it out. Every scrap with the tool felt like a mistake, and I swore I would never do them again.

But then… While purging the house room by room, I came across two kits: Golden Butterflies and Silver Wolves. I decided to do them, and see if it went any better, and it did.

Metal.Butterflies.jpg

I absolutely enjoyed it! I loved playing with negative and positive space, and it was nice for the butterflies to turn out half decent.

Butterflies are a big symbol for my relationship with my husband, and for a good yet silly reason. He told me he would NEVER buy me jewellery, and if he were to propose, it would be with a ring pop candy. We would be married until I finished it was what he used to say.

Now, the jewellery thing didn’t bug me at all. I have never been someone who wears necklaces, bracelets, rings, or even earring on a day to day bases. BUT the ring thing irked me.

Now, my Andrew said this for YEARS. At least until he broke one day, and got me a necklace. It had a blue and green butterfly on it, made out of tiny gems, and it was beautiful.

That is what made Butterflies a big deal for our relationship. I have a red spotted ‘purple’ butterfly tattooed on my left fore arm, because of it (and as a reminder the life is beautiful). It was featured at our wedding, in our handmade center pieces.

So now, the trick will be framing it, and figuring out where I want it on my walls. It does reflect light fairly bright which is why the picture is dark.

 

 

My Poor Tree

I haven’t drawn in years, if I am honest. I used to love drawing, painting, molding clay. It was an amazing thing to create something from the mind, or mimic an existing object/person. Flaws added depth to it though I struggled with that fact.

Being a perfectionist is not great when you want to be creative, and thus I have been hesitant to do anything artistic for a long time (unless it was instructional). Today I decided to pull out a sketch book and pencils, and make something, anything.

It’s simple, but I drew this evergreen tree. It probably sucks, but I am proud of it, because at least it looks how I wanted it to (sort of).

Pencil.Tree.jpg

Art in all its forms bring a beauty to the world that I enjoy soul deep. It is necessary for any creative soul to find their medium or niche in the world to share their imagination, but it doesn’t hurt to dapple in others at the same time.

I have posted a lot of poems, and will continue to do so, but I am also going to be playing with my drawing pencils. Hopefully I will get some paint and canvas soon to fiddle around there, too.

Sorry for the quality of the picture. Cellphones don’t take the greatest photos so I am hoping I can get my digital camera working. Well, it works, but I don’t have the cable required to transfer photos to the computer just yet. Plus I need an SD card to be able to take more than just a couple photos.

 

What I Am Reading

I have officially started reading A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. I am only two chapters in, but I am enjoying the writing style for sure. I expected it to be similar to J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series yet I am appreciating the fact that it is not.

When a book hooks me, I tend to finish it pretty quick, unable to stop reading it. However with books like Lord of the Rings or The Prince of Nothing series, it took months to read. I did enjoy them the whole way through, but they were painstakingly dull at times.

I can’t explain why I felt A Game of Thrones would be similar to Lord of the Rings in terms of writing. Maybe the hype? Its genre? Anyway, while I find it more modern, or easier to read, it does have a formal tone in its language that I envy. I believe it makes it sophisticated, and somehow makes a book more attractive to readers.

Readers may like easy reads, but many enjoy a more complex story, settings, character development. I want to build worlds like a great many authors do outside the confines of our world, or even revealing fantastical layers of it. I guess that is why I am trying to read the books I am, to figure it out.

A Game of Thrones has inspiring phrases, or fragments of sentences that I might just use for some more poems, or maybe an attempt at a short story. After all I do believe all writer’s go through a period of trying to find their own voice, and mimicking their favourite authors on the way. It is educational, I think, and might do me some good in the end.

 

 

2019: My Year of Change

It is the start of a new year, and I felt I should share some things. Make myself accountable to myself and the eyes of others.

To start with, I shared my book with a few individuals, and I am waiting on one to finish the last twelve chapters before getting her notes. I have received very good feedback, and believe most of it will improve my book. They definitely will add more thrills to the story line, and chances to connect with the characters. *fingers crossed*

I have to say it is great to be writing on here everyday (almost), and working more on my manuscript. Also, picking up books, and actually reading the amount I used to has been great too. I hope to query more literary agents in 2019 while both writing and reading to grow myself and my ‘craft’. Over the past few weeks, I have accumulated a variety of works by different authors to challenge myself in that regard.

January is always an interesting month for me, I find. Not only is it the changing of the year and the beginning of new dawns, but it is also my birth month. I will be turning 27 in eighteen days, and I have struggled with my age for a few years now. Growing baby pressure (from family and myself), a need to move from the house my husband and I have outgrown, and the fact that I feel I am stepping backwards in life make it tough to think “age is just a number.”

However, I am GOING to change that thinking this year. Too often I let the voices of others outweigh my own, and it isn’t fair to me or to them. They don’t get to see who I truly am, and I torture myself to fit their molds. I may be loud, boisterous, and absolutely abnormal, but there is nothing wrong with that or me. I may be crude, overly honest, and share too much about myself (before I get to know you), but that is who I am. I am not going to be ashamed or apologize for it anymore.

This year, I am going to fight for a healthy me, in mind, spirit, and body. I am going to continue pursuing my dreams of being a writer, and make it happen. This is the time to put energy towards projects, and make them a reality! I have no one to blame, but myself if it doesn’t come true, after all.

I know plenty of people are posting this kind of ‘shit’, but it is a way to air out the old and grasp the new we want for ourselves. Rejoice in who you are now, and make the changes you need to to be happy. That is what we owe ourselves and those who spend time with us. Denying our truths not only denies others our true spirits, but an amazing freedom we all have the right to experience in our lives.

So, to be one of those people, here is the sum of my resolutions for 2019:

  1. Eat better and exercise to become a happier, less negativity person
  2. Read more (outside the box), and write more (outside the box)
  3. Keep trying to get representation for my manuscript (also look into self publishing)
  4. Keep active on my blog, and learn from those on here
  5. Craft more too!

I know resolutions can be cheesy, and many die before the end of January, but this year is gonna be my bitch! (To put it bluntly). There’s a fire in me, and I am fanning the flames, and keeping it burning!

I hope this year is everything you want/need it to be! Remember, treat yourself and others kindly!

Just write everyday of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers. ~ Ray Bradbury

 

P.S. I am going to be listening to High Hopes by Panic! at the Disco on my rougher days to keep myself inspired. Any songs you think would benefit me on low energy, depressing, or just tragic days, share them! I will also takes motivating/inspire/truthful quotes, too!

Fearful Blossom

Darkness crashes like waves

Upon a shrinking shore.

It covers the horizon

Blackens the sun

And blocks the stars.

The moon ran away

Leaving me alone again.

No light shines here.

Not in the land

of Perpetual Shadows.

I long ago abandoned

Sight

For it takes me nowhere.

Not on this pedestal of sand.

Against the rising tide

I wither away.

A fearful blossom

Claimed by the decay.

 

Blanket of Hope

Her hands worked hard for what had come to feel like ages, and the sound of knitting needles moving side by side comforted her. The progress she made was revealed, row after row, with a simple basket weave stitch. Longing for its completion, she finished it one day, and found a box to wrap it in, hoping to hide its truth.
For thirteen days, she kept the gift hidden, and decorated the house with her husband for Christmas. The evergreen tree they had cut down together sat in a stand of water, filling the room with a pine scent. It shone brightly with a wooden star wrapped in twinkly lights at the top, and her deceased grandmother’s multicoloured lights adorned the branches.
Her husband moved on to start the Christmas village, and she put decorations on the tree carefully since her cats viewed them as shimmering toys. Tears filled her eyes when she saw it completed, reminded of relatives who had passed years ago, and of a bright future she wished to share with them.
Blinking the sadness from her eyes, he came to hug her, comfort her, and they sat together on the couch. A holiday themed video lit the TV, and she lost herself in it, surrounded by the warmth of her loved one and their furry children.
Finally, it was the day she had waited ever so patiently for, having lied about the purpose of her knitting project to him. She had not been able to buy anything for Christmas for him, and it tore her apart, but she was able to make him something, just that one thing.
It sat alone underneath the bright tree, and he tentatively grabbed it while she watched from a distance. He looked at her once for approval, and with a nod, he started to pull the paper from it. Peering inside the box, he pulled out a knitted blanket, too small for him or her to use, and stared at his wife.
A faint smile lit her lips, unsure of what he would make of it, and she explained in a soft voice, “It is a baby blanket.”
“Oh, okay,” he replied in his own simple way, uncertain of what else to say since he knew she was not pregnant.
“I made it to show my hope for us,” she whispered, trying to hide tears from her eyes, “We both want children, and it isn’t time yet, but I wanted to show you I will always want that for us…. Regardless of how long it takes.”
Her voice broke, and tears fell silently down her cheeks. His arms wrapped around her, and he mumbled something she did not hear.
“What?” she asked through her sniffles and brushed her tears away.
“I love you,” he said louder, his eyes caring as he gazed at her, “It will happen for us one day, don’t worry.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered, barely heard as she snuggled into his arms.
They stayed entwined in the other’s embrace, the quiet filled with promise, and basked in the glow of the varied lights. The Christmas tree worked its magic on them, a secret promise had been made, and before they retired to bed that night, she was sure she felt her past loved ones approval.
All thanks to a baby blanket made with love.

Knitting

Crafting is a big thing in my life, thanks to my mom. She put together our costumes as kids, made us pillows and blankets, knitted sweaters for us, and plenty more. She is everything you could ask for in a mother, and recently she has been helping me to gather some of those talents, too.

In August, she started teaching me how to knit, and I have made a few dishcloths since then. They are nowhere near perfect (my tension is wonky), and I struggle to fix mistakes, but I am proud of them none the less.

So after feeling confident about those, I decided to build my stamina, and started knitting a blanket. I have 10 days to my deadline for it to be completed, and I am unsure if I will get it done. I will try my damnedest, though. *fingers crossed*

Learning how to knit has helped in other areas of my life, like most crafters would say. It keeps your mind active, your fingers moving, and helps with the creative juices. It has given me the ability to overcome some of the darker things that try to live in my mind, and has pushed me to keep at it with my writing (somewhat surprisingly).

With that said, I am going to start writing a poem a day on something, and hopefully sharing it here. I need to keep at it with the pencil and paper, and give the writing magic a bit more of a push.

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.                       ~Ernest Hemingway

The Poet

The Poet inside

Suffocates

and their words struggle for Freedom.

Freedom from their cage

the one of Propriety

the one of Lies.

the Poet inside

Suffocates

and their hearts forever cry

within a soulful body,

Forever in search of sharing.

Sharing what we’ve all forgotten.

The one thing we all value.

TRUTH

 

Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.     ~Carlos Ruiz Zafón