What I Am Reading

I have officially started reading A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. I am only two chapters in, but I am enjoying the writing style for sure. I expected it to be similar to J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series yet I am appreciating the fact that it is not.

When a book hooks me, I tend to finish it pretty quick, unable to stop reading it. However with books like Lord of the Rings or The Prince of Nothing series, it took months to read. I did enjoy them the whole way through, but they were painstakingly dull at times.

I can’t explain why I felt A Game of Thrones would be similar to Lord of the Rings in terms of writing. Maybe the hype? Its genre? Anyway, while I find it more modern, or easier to read, it does have a formal tone in its language that I envy. I believe it makes it sophisticated, and somehow makes a book more attractive to readers.

Readers may like easy reads, but many enjoy a more complex story, settings, character development. I want to build worlds like a great many authors do outside the confines of our world, or even revealing fantastical layers of it. I guess that is why I am trying to read the books I am, to figure it out.

A Game of Thrones has inspiring phrases, or fragments of sentences that I might just use for some more poems, or maybe an attempt at a short story. After all I do believe all writer’s go through a period of trying to find their own voice, and mimicking their favourite authors on the way. It is educational, I think, and might do me some good in the end.

 

 

That Time of Year

Today, I spent the morning wrapping Christmas presents with my husband. It was fun, and all that, but stressful too. In the past, my wrapping skills have been… critiqued. I try my hardest, but it doesn’t translate into the gift, it seems.

My mom wraps with crisp edges, like a bloody pro, and tries to be gentle, but I know she sees how bad my wrapping is. My husband wraps like a pro, too, and he has tried to teach me, but it takes practice and patience.

But I struggle with not being perfect from the get go. I slowly let it get to me, that my wrapping sucks, and always will which means my negative inner voice is winning. It is tough to acknowledge that since my negative inner voice has sway over me ninety percent of the time. It makes simple things seem way more difficult, and makes me feel like a failure.

And like all things, it spirals out of control especially if I am alone. It turns into everything I hate about myself, and grows to include everything I think everyone hates about me, too. It is annoying, and it takes sooooo much effort to shut it down before then. So kudos to anyone else with that negative inner voice who manages to stuff it back in a box, and beat the snot out of it too!

Anyway, that trigger today was wrapping gifts, and the longer I sat taping and folding, the quicker it crept up on me. Eventually I was in tears, because how the heck can’t I get crisp frickin’ edges on a bloody box?!?

Thankfully my husband intervened, and stared me down. He finally said, “Your wrapping is fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

It was what I needed to beat my inner negative voice back into its cage, and say to myself, “Yeah, your wrapping may not be God’s gift to the world, but it was done with love and that’s all that matters! Plus… it is better than it used to be.”

Treat yourself with kindness this season, everyone! It is the effort that matters at the end of the day, and there is nothing wrong with falling. Friends and Family should take care of each other, and lend a hand when it is needed. Be it wrapping that is your downfall, or something else, YOU TRIED!

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation. ~ Herman Melville

 

 

 

Knitting

Crafting is a big thing in my life, thanks to my mom. She put together our costumes as kids, made us pillows and blankets, knitted sweaters for us, and plenty more. She is everything you could ask for in a mother, and recently she has been helping me to gather some of those talents, too.

In August, she started teaching me how to knit, and I have made a few dishcloths since then. They are nowhere near perfect (my tension is wonky), and I struggle to fix mistakes, but I am proud of them none the less.

So after feeling confident about those, I decided to build my stamina, and started knitting a blanket. I have 10 days to my deadline for it to be completed, and I am unsure if I will get it done. I will try my damnedest, though. *fingers crossed*

Learning how to knit has helped in other areas of my life, like most crafters would say. It keeps your mind active, your fingers moving, and helps with the creative juices. It has given me the ability to overcome some of the darker things that try to live in my mind, and has pushed me to keep at it with my writing (somewhat surprisingly).

With that said, I am going to start writing a poem a day on something, and hopefully sharing it here. I need to keep at it with the pencil and paper, and give the writing magic a bit more of a push.

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.                       ~Ernest Hemingway