will

Failure’s Trap

Failure is just around the bend

Willing, Waiting,

Wanting us to burn.

It thrives on hopeless dreams

Time wasting as goals pass us by.

It digs a hole for us everyday

Hides it right beneath our eyes.

Sometimes it’s best to give up,

Give in before it hits.

You’ll think you dodged a bullet

But regret hits you real quick.

Hard to say anything

About the end game.

All I know is

Today I walked past Failure’s trap

And shook hands with a better friend.

 

[Yesterday’s Word Count: 660]

[Today’s Word Count: 1, 718]

*I have been struggling, I will admit, but today I feel ahead of the game, on the right path for once. I got a decent word count considering the late start I got to writing (I may have been up at 5 am, but dogs and hubby desired attention for a while). I put a dent in then shoveled. I had to eat at points like everyone does, but I feel good about what I got done today.

*The only issue? I have to decided if the couple of chapters I’ve written do what they need to or not. If they do, I just have to edit/revise until the next chunk of writing has to happen (which is 6-7 chapters later). If they don’t, I keep writing or look over what I’ve done so far and reassess. The choices.

*While feedback is nice, sometimes it is tough to act on or time consuming. I personally have a nagging worry that what I’m doing isn’t necessarily what my few readers were looking for. Time will tell though and I’m going to bask in my happiness for now!

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A Barking Reminder

Sheer Will.
No, that’s a lie.
 
My dogs get me up
On the toughest of mornings.
Their incessant whining
Barking and prancing
Begging for food.
 
They don’t let up
Licking my exposed toes
Digging bony elbows into my back
Cold snouts pushed into my face.
 
They force me up
To feed them
Because I may not want to live
But I need to for my dogs.
 
It reminds me after a while
That those moments
Mean something
My life
Means something
To someone.
 
My husband,
My dogs,
My cats.
 
I may want to give up
See nothing to live for
But those barks are all it takes
to tell me
I’m needed, wanted, and loved.
 
That’s what gets me up
When there’s nothing to live for.
[To explain, I am a member on a website called Prose, and it posts challenges as do its members to prompt writing. I try to check it out everyday, and write for some of the challenges. This poem is for one of them.]

Claw Back

Here I am – again – sitting in my computer chair, and feeling the need to write something. Part of me screams it should be soul changing. Another shouts it should be real and personal. And yet another voice joins the choir, albeit quietly.

That quiet voice is the one I am listening to, at least today.

It tells me it doesn’t matter what I type as long as I am typing something. Whether it will grab an audience or connect with only me… It will serve its purpose in pushing me to write. That is all I can ask for right now.

Sadly, my energy does not meet the requirements of the other voices in my mind, and so that epic tale will wait for another day. However I am hoping to start posting my musings into the realm of poetry later this month, maybe alongside some attempts at short stories.

I would like to query more literary agents, but have added a few individuals into my test group, and will be waiting for their comments on my book. Maybe my manuscript needs another go with the fat trimmer and polisher. Time will tell on that score, and I will move forward from there. Then, perhaps, my inner guilt will slumber once more.

There is one person I must thank for the time being, and that is my husband. He has been very supportive of me and my dream. I just feel he is growing more and more impatient about it. Can’t say I blame him, but I am not ready to give up just yet, (or at all). I may struggle with my insecurities and doubts, and yet… there is some will and strength inside to grab onto tightly.

All of us have power, waiting to be turned on and utilized. Instead, maybe we all just need to flip the switch for ourselves?

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day: ‘I will try again tomorrow.’  ~ Mary Anne Radmacher