Winter’s Come

Red rises in the light of a waning sun.

Dusk conquers the sky, silent and proud,

Before Lady Moon rides her darkness

And claims her throne once more.

From the ground, forests watch the game

Repeated nightly, predictable,

Before turning their eyes inward.

The ground covering their twining roots

Is warmed by bloodied leaves

Dropped from the skyward limbs.

Night’s Queen bids forth the cold

And sends the westward wind howling in the eerie calm.

Fall drifts away, hand in hand with Father Time,

And passes Winter, serene under a clock of frost.

The forests shiver with the change,

Watch drying leaves, rust, crumple, disintegrate.

Dawn sounds the trumpet charge,

Ahead of Lord Sun on his sea of blue,

And chases Lady Moon past the horizon once more.

The trees turn their eyes inward, closing them tight,

Its time to slumber, despite warming rays of light.

 

 

Strength

And I would ask to die,

If only I knew

I wouldn’t be leaving you behind.

You’re the beat of my heart

My light in the dark

And the words you speak, so kind.

 

You’ve kept me up

When I would fall

And held my hand

When I wish to stall.

I hold you back

Yet you love me still.

I mar our lives

Yet you march us uphill.

Your quiet spirit

Pushes me forward

Though I struggle to see

Our future, it’s blurred.

 

I wish to die

To unburden you.

To let you live a life

You chose for yourself.

Instead, here I am

Filling our lives with strife.

 

You’ve kept us together

Keeping us strong

Taunting our demons

Inside us all along.

You’ve shielded me

And lifted the sword

But this battle is ours

Not just yours.

I will fight beside you

As I should’ve from the start.

Shake off this weakness

And finally take part.

 

Forever and Always

I vowed to you.

Thank you, my love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She Only Wants A Mirror

She only wants a mirror.
To know who she is.
To know where she is going.

She’s lost.
She’s afraid,
And fighting feelings of hate.

She’s confused.
She’s weak,
And losing those she loves.

She’s hiding.
She’s searching,
And degrading what she finds.

She wonders,
About many things,
But dwells on how might feel to be whole.

She’s grabbing,
She’s grasping,
And holding on for straws.

Why can’t she find it?
Why can’t she believe what she finds?
Why is she weak?

She asks questions,
And hears only repetitions.
She needs to see, not hear.

She’s losing belief,
In what she has,
And it’s killing her inside.

She pretends,
She lies,
And she’s learning to die.

Her hands are empty,
Her knees are weak,
She’s not strong enough.

2019: My Year of Change

It is the start of a new year, and I felt I should share some things. Make myself accountable to myself and the eyes of others.

To start with, I shared my book with a few individuals, and I am waiting on one to finish the last twelve chapters before getting her notes. I have received very good feedback, and believe most of it will improve my book. They definitely will add more thrills to the story line, and chances to connect with the characters. *fingers crossed*

I have to say it is great to be writing on here everyday (almost), and working more on my manuscript. Also, picking up books, and actually reading the amount I used to has been great too. I hope to query more literary agents in 2019 while both writing and reading to grow myself and my ‘craft’. Over the past few weeks, I have accumulated a variety of works by different authors to challenge myself in that regard.

January is always an interesting month for me, I find. Not only is it the changing of the year and the beginning of new dawns, but it is also my birth month. I will be turning 27 in eighteen days, and I have struggled with my age for a few years now. Growing baby pressure (from family and myself), a need to move from the house my husband and I have outgrown, and the fact that I feel I am stepping backwards in life make it tough to think “age is just a number.”

However, I am GOING to change that thinking this year. Too often I let the voices of others outweigh my own, and it isn’t fair to me or to them. They don’t get to see who I truly am, and I torture myself to fit their molds. I may be loud, boisterous, and absolutely abnormal, but there is nothing wrong with that or me. I may be crude, overly honest, and share too much about myself (before I get to know you), but that is who I am. I am not going to be ashamed or apologize for it anymore.

This year, I am going to fight for a healthy me, in mind, spirit, and body. I am going to continue pursuing my dreams of being a writer, and make it happen. This is the time to put energy towards projects, and make them a reality! I have no one to blame, but myself if it doesn’t come true, after all.

I know plenty of people are posting this kind of ‘shit’, but it is a way to air out the old and grasp the new we want for ourselves. Rejoice in who you are now, and make the changes you need to to be happy. That is what we owe ourselves and those who spend time with us. Denying our truths not only denies others our true spirits, but an amazing freedom we all have the right to experience in our lives.

So, to be one of those people, here is the sum of my resolutions for 2019:

  1. Eat better and exercise to become a happier, less negativity person
  2. Read more (outside the box), and write more (outside the box)
  3. Keep trying to get representation for my manuscript (also look into self publishing)
  4. Keep active on my blog, and learn from those on here
  5. Craft more too!

I know resolutions can be cheesy, and many die before the end of January, but this year is gonna be my bitch! (To put it bluntly). There’s a fire in me, and I am fanning the flames, and keeping it burning!

I hope this year is everything you want/need it to be! Remember, treat yourself and others kindly!

Just write everyday of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers. ~ Ray Bradbury

 

P.S. I am going to be listening to High Hopes by Panic! at the Disco on my rougher days to keep myself inspired. Any songs you think would benefit me on low energy, depressing, or just tragic days, share them! I will also takes motivating/inspire/truthful quotes, too!

The Nymph With A Siren’s Song

Moonlight dances on stilled waters

gracefully covering mossy shores.

Trees watch in stoic silence,

Like Statues guarding Nature’s Secrets.

Footsteps break the calming night,

Approaching the clear lake in awe.

In ethereal beauty, she stands barefoot,

A nymph whose wings glitter brighter than stars.

Her emerald eyes shimmer with promise

A siren’s voice sounds in the distance.

Light as air, she moves upon the water,

Finding her place in the night’s music.

Patterns form on the surface around her,

Chaotic and Beautiful under the Moon’s gaze.

Wings flutter in softened shadows

Lifting the nymph higher just to free fall.

The space is filled by her glowing prescence

Though she vanishes amongst the trees

Like an unformed thought is swallowed by the mind.

Removed from sight, the fireflies fade away,

A closing curtain on something unseen

And yet I know it was more than a dream.

Magic

Magic swirls in dusky skies

playing fun

playing hell

On other people’s lives

And yet not many believe in it.

The power of magic

To take your pain away

Or deliver another dose of it.

It brings roses, daffodils, tulips

to Life

And at the end of the day

Snuffs out their light.

It empowers people to fight for their dreams

And also knocks those on pedestals to their knees.

Oh wonderful magic, it plays its tricks

But you best believe in it.

It may help or hinder

But it’s definitely there.

Grab hold to its tail

And dear wanderer,

Beware.

See it, Worth

They left everyone behind.

Told them ‘You’re a waste of time.’

They crept under their rock

Surfacing only for a hand out.

I was a fool to think

I could prove myself

to Them.

That I was worth having around.

But you see,

I am a people pleaser.

Raised to bend for everyone else

But me.

I will bend

I will break

I will end up shattered

All for another’s love and appreciation.

Now it’s my turn to leave Them behind,

Tell them ‘You’re not worth my time.’

Love is a two way street

And I am not going to drive both sides

For Them.

Not when they refuse to see me as I am.

Not when family means nothing.

I am learning my worth

And screw those who can’t see it.

 

 

Lust’s Collapse

Finger tips trace

Lover’s soft skin.

Lips meet

Share more than words.

Need.

Pure want for it

That beguiling touch.

Bask in passionate warmth

Skin to skin.

Bodies move as one

Synchronized.

Climbing higher

Higher.

Sweat forms.

Fevered moans.

Heads tossed back

To greet Ecstasy.

Cries ring out,

Trembling flesh

Atop heavy breaths.

Collapse

In Sweet Climax.

Pen and Paper

A pale face stares back,
Greenish blue eyes,
Pierce a wanderer’s soul,
From a reflective pool.
‘Is the writing any good?
‘Am I living my dream?’
‘No’, the quiet voice answers,
As a tear glides gently down
A fair freckled cheek.
Anger swells in the woman
Before the soul in the mirror.
‘I will be one day’
She says out loud,
Squaring off against her fears.
Turning her back to the world
She walks away.
Fingers tightly gripping
Pen and Paper.
Words scrawled on pages,
Day after Day,
For ages upon ages.
The woman returns to the mirror
The calm pond, clear,
Shows her soul’s darkest self.
No words need to leave her lips
The quiet voice is stronger now,
‘It is time.
‘Go show the World,
The Magic you can make.’
With a silent nod
The woman walks away once more.
Pride fills her step,
And soon
Her words will reach once deaf ears.

It’s Hard To Kill What’s True

It’s hard to kill what’s true.

It hides inside your soul,

Reaching forward for your heart.

It inspires passion,

Feeds the struggling fire

You secret from the world.

It turns on the light

You’re afraid to shine

The blinding brightness too much.

It’s hard to kill what’s true.

It screams when you refuse to listen,

pouts when you deny its truth.

It defends itself

Against your self deprecating lies.

It fights for its freedom

Its actualization in your mind.

You see

It’s hard to kill what’s true

Because the truth is…

You’re Amazing to Someone

Even if that someone

Isn’t you.