Hold, Hold, Let Go

Holding a knife’s edge
it draws crimson droplets
that swiftly form a sea of red
It puddles beneath the hand
 
and still the grip tightens
Anger, Guilt, Passion, Hatred
Reasons to never let go
 
When memory fails
bitterness remains in its wake
 
The knife cuts only you though.
 
Or its dropped
and Relief is felt in a soft wave
 
washing over you
healing you from the reason
you couldn’t let go
 
The weight lifts and floats away
the chains unlocked
and you can soar higher now
as long as memory remains away
 
Pride and power come
from letting go
an invisible crown you wear
Succeeding, finally, at years’ long goal
But maybe memory still holds it.

Cancer

I

Hate

Cancer.

Its hand creep and crawl

like warped vines.

Its touch tarnishes and taints

like nails on a chalkboard.

Vile like stomach bile,

Its hold on another one

of those I love.

Is there anything

it won’t take?

Cancer’s game is destruction.

Barbed wire around organs

constricted and stabbed

for working.

Lungs riddled with it.

Every breath a growing burn.

I yearn to ease his pain

and pray peace

finds him in sleep.

Restless (A Dizain Poem + Update)

Can’t stay still, can’t be bored, can’t close your eyes.
Keep moving, keep doing, keep producing.
Sleep is for the lazy, best chase your prize.
Ignore the slowing of time, keep trying.
When sun runs out, the moon will be rising.
Keep scratching that itch and hope it will pass.
Fill the void, the hours, with task after task.
Wish to God you could sit, relax, and breathe.
But there’s plenty to do, get off your ass.
No break from its hold, forget a reprieve.
P.S. I have started revising my book again. Guess this restlessness or anxiety can be good for something after all. I try and force myself to take breaks anyways, because they are necessary.
P.S.S. Take care of yourselves!

Strength

And I would ask to die,

If only I knew

I wouldn’t be leaving you behind.

You’re the beat of my heart

My light in the dark

And the words you speak, so kind.

 

You’ve kept me up

When I would fall

And held my hand

When I wish to stall.

I hold you back

Yet you love me still.

I mar our lives

Yet you march us uphill.

Your quiet spirit

Pushes me forward

Though I struggle to see

Our future, it’s blurred.

 

I wish to die

To unburden you.

To let you live a life

You chose for yourself.

Instead, here I am

Filling our lives with strife.

 

You’ve kept us together

Keeping us strong

Taunting our demons

Inside us all along.

You’ve shielded me

And lifted the sword

But this battle is ours

Not just yours.

I will fight beside you

As I should’ve from the start.

Shake off this weakness

And finally take part.

 

Forever and Always

I vowed to you.

Thank you, my love.