Sick and it Bites!

Ick! I’m sick for the first time in like… two years and it sucks! I have been eating better, exercising, drinking tons of water, and I have been forsaken by my immune system.

It started yesterday, this stupid sore throat with wonky headness. Yep. That’s a word now. The brain fog is real and my face feels so weird. All I want to do is sleep, but I somehow still have normal energy levels combined with my wonderful restlessness.

So… I’m going to go do my yoga, and veg out some more to Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. It is a Netflix original series and is a retake on Sabrina Spellman, that adorable show from when we were kids. However, I love this darker view soooo much better! (Plus, totally in love with the idea of magic)

If I didn’t feel dizzy like I lost my land legs and got dock rock, I would push myself to read, but instead… I’m hoping to fall asleep to give my body that extra time to get rid of this bull*&%$ cold, flu, whatever!

I have to start feeling better to clean the house, get laundry done, and be productive. So here’s hoping tomorrow I wake up feeling better and can put this lapse on my immune system’s part to rest.

Take care of yourselves!

It Clicked!

Yesterday was the best day of writing I have had in a looooonnnngggggg time. I managed to get to 1,894 words! That’s equal to one chapter!

I will be honest though. It happened in a short span of time, early afternoon. The desk had not called to me and when I realized I was making excuses, I called myself on it.

“No, Kelsey,” I started in on my own lecture, “You’re not going to fumble about the kitchen until you’ve written for an hour, got it?”

And that forced my to the chair at my desk. What started as an hour, became two, and then three. At that point I needed a very late lunch and Andrew would be home in a few minutes. As much as I wanted to keep writing, I knew it was better not to push myself and burn out, but instead accomplish a few other things around the house.

Andrew was proud of what I managed to do, and thankfully, he help me clean the house this morning as a reward (or so I think). But yesterday, it finally clicked. My passion to truly write was back and I didn’t feel like I was forcing myself. It happened on its own and I didn’t even feel the time fly.

I am hoping to get some more writing done today, but I only do a little on the weekends so I can spend time with my husband. Plus, there’s the matter of my brother and my future sister-in-law’s Stag and Doe tonight!

There is going to be food and drink, and we recently committed to eating healthier. My husband can’t have alcohol thanks to his fatty liver and not long ago episode of pancreatitis. I choose not to drink alcohol, because of an uncle who based away from his addiction to the stuff. (I got really drunk once after his death and realized what I was feeling from its effects was what he had been looking for, too. Since then, don’t have more then 2-3 coolers in a year, if that).

The food will be another problem, too, since it will be all fatty, sugary shit. Andrew can’t have that stuff because of aforementioned pancreatitis and fatty liver. I can’t have it, because I’m sick of being heavy and unhappy. I’ve managed to get us exercising and we don’t really eat out much, but we do have larger portions of things we shouldn’t.

Anyways, wish us luck avoiding pop and junky food tonight! (and don’t forget some for my book, too!)

Family Time = Fight Time?

On Friday, my husband and I spent the evening at my parents with my sister, brother, and future sister-in-law. The typical turkey dinner was prepared, and gifts were exchanged by the Christmas tree. It was rather enjoyable, and I hope we can keep it up year after year.

My immediate family does not typically have time to get together like that around the holidays. My brother has a job which can require him to work all seven days of the week, and varying hours. His fiancée helps manage a retail store, and her hours range as a result. My sister is in university, and works part time on the weekend. My mom is always off Sundays, but can work Saturdays. My dad and my husband are usually off on the weekends, provided there’s no overtime or last minute work to do. (I have a ton of ‘free’ time, so I am never the issue for scheduling.)

Add that in with the dislike siblings have for each other, and magic just seems to happen, doesn’t it?

I have an amazing relationship with my sister though. We have ups and downs, but in general we get one another and don’t mind hanging out just the two of us. In fact we often help each other out in rougher situations. It is nice we got over that rough patch all siblings seem to have.

However my brother and I don’t have a great relationship as of yet. When they moved, I helped out. I lent them our fake Christmas tree and some lights to have some holiday joy in their house. I try my damnedest not to annoy him or send him on a war path. I slip up every now and then, but I try. He just doesn’t get me quite yet or doesn’t care. Hard to say.

While I am 5-6 years apart in age from my sister, I am only 1 year and 10 months apart from my brother. I am also the older one, and ultimately we ended up a grade apart through school. I believe the closeness of our age is one of the biggest reasons we don’t get along. His friends are around our age, and don’t mind me at all, too. (Doesn’t help that I am on the weirder side of the scale.)

Anyways I went into our immediate family’s Christmas full of anxiety about messing it up, and starting a fight by accident. Thankfully it didn’t happen, but if I tried to tease my brother or offer help, he became defensive. It was hard to enjoy all of us being together when he seemed to go for blood with his verbal attacks.

He tends to insult what I am doing with my life, (no respect for the arts), or my house (which I maintain almost entirely by myself). These are obviously sore spots for me since (like every other writer, I’m sure), I doubt my life choice from time to time, and struggle with the burden it puts on my husband. Plus, I was raised to care about how others perceive me, and to keep a super clean/maintained house on all fronts.

Thus his barbed comments sting, and I try to brush them off, but… Deep down, it kills me that he refuses to see the truth of things, or ignores it. He also doesn’t seem to care how our ‘fights’ hurt our parents. I am told one day it will change, but it sure feels like it won’t right now.

Anyways, I know every family has their struggles, and not everyone will always get along within one. Just remember to pick your battles, and the time and place where they will be. It can be tough, but it typically works out for the better.

I gave my brother a Christmas card with a personally note from me. I’ll admit it was passive aggressive, but I hope it is whittling down whatever his issues are with me bit by bit.