And the energy to be productive was nowhere to be seen today. I barely slept, or so it felt. Nyx, my tortoise coloured cat, is an eye witness to the tossing and turning.

Windstorm probably didn’t help, because it added the need to wake up early to put garbage out for pickup. Same with recycling. Our bins decided to fly half way down the street and required fetching, too.

Husband stayed home and has sorted papers (the ones I couldn’t help with). Makes me feel even more useless and worthless.

My mom is feeling sick so no helping her engrave more wine glasses today.

I ultimately feel like a husk that bounces back and forth between somewhat sane and happy to feeling worthless and wanting to sleep, Wish it would stop. I know at some point I am just going to have to push through it, but that didn’t happen today.

To be honest, the thought of trying to get past this makes me want to cry. I just don’t have it in me right now for whatever reason. I don’t even know what really triggered this sudden shift in moods.

All I know, I look around and am surrounding by continuing evidence that I am worthless and have nothing to offer.

Fingers crossed I snap out of it tomorrow.


P.S. Sorry for the back to back hopeless topic kind of posts. It helps a little to put it into words.


Drained, Disappointed, But Here

Yesterday was an off day for me. I woke up feeling drained, and with a headache (for the fourth day in a row)! I had an appointment that threw off my day, and the freezing cold we have here right now wouldn’t let me bounce back.

Our house apparently needs new seals or something, because our windows have ice on the inside around the edges, and our back door has it gathering at its base. It might just be the fact that for the past couple days its been -35 degree C, or that our house hates us. (It is a running theme of something new every couple of months creating a new problem).

Yeah, yeah, it’s winter, and I love winter, but it is kicking my ass right now or so it feels. At least I haven’t had to shovel since Monday which has been nice.

Since yesterday was a bad day, I didn’t get any writing done at all. No blog post here or editing of my book. I have another appointment today that wrecks my day, but I’m hoping to get SOMETHING done.

I usually clean my house Fridays, top to bottom and every nook and cranny, but I might wait til Andrew gets home. We’ll do it after errands (fingers crossed), but who knows?

Anyways, yesterday’s word count was zero, and Wednesday’s word count was 1,095. Today, I’m honestly hoping to get a sentence out of myself. I tried to the other day, but nothing was coming to me.